What You'll Find

While most interpersonal growth & development programs focus on building skills to help individuals interact with others, “Build Your Legacy” focuses on the individual and helping him to realize who he is, why he functions the way he does, and what he can do to improve his life and achieve more.

The assumption in existing development programs is that individuals know themselves well enough and possess the confidence necessary to put into practice what they learn. The truth is that while most people who attend these programs see value in the information shared, their confidence, willingness, and desire to put what was learned into practice may be negatively influenced or impacted by personal doubt, fear, or limiting-belief that they have in themselves. 

Before a person can learn how to deal with others, he should first know who he is.

Our “Build Your Legacy” program was designed to address a person’s inner self and their potential. We’ll help individuals to discover themselves and recognize both what drives them to do the things they do and what scares or restricts them from creating a better life. Helping them to realize this can unlock both the potential and the opportunities for them to live productive and fulfilled lives.

Derived from programs from the likes of Jim Rohn, John Maxwell, Jack Canfield, Les Brown, and Simon Sinek, “Build Your Legacy” combines the proven methods in personal growth with personal experiences to help individuals (and consequentially businesses and organizations) who want to live lives better than how they are currently living.

Like any development or training program, the value in the lessons and tools received can only be realized if there is an acknowledgement and understanding of the program. Moreover, there has to be the willingness and courage to employ what was learned. Unfortunately, many individuals lack the patience or determination to use the lessons and their new skills with consistency and with the confidence that their lives will improve. “Build Your Legacy” was created to help individuals overcome these obstacles and build a foundation based on passion, purpose, and fulfillment.

First lesson: Lessons from Dad

“When you say ‘I love you,’ mean it!”

My father passed on some great advice. Here is the first of many.

For as long as I can remember, any time a family member was leaving on a trip or to just go across the street, the words you heard as they head off were “love you.” Saying it became so natural, automatic, and expected that if it wasn’t said as you were leaving, you were guaranteed to be asked, “Are you forgetting something?”

Fast forward to right around 1997 as I was developing a drug prevention presentation and going over it with my father. While we were discussing a portion of the program on family support, my father felt that it was important to emphasize that while family love, support, and care were important, meaning it was crucial. “When you say “I love you, mean it.”

“Think before you say, because what you say says what you think.”

Another piece of advice from my father. This one has kept me from getting into trouble. 

What advice were you given that has helped you in life and who was it from?

“Failure comes when you quit.”

This third in my series, “Lessons From Dad,” was given to me at a time when I was experiencing “great frustration.”  

I walked into the office one day feeling that I wasn’t getting anywhere in marketing a service that I was sure businesses would need. My father called me to his desk and asked what was going on. After spilling my frustration, he asks me, “So are you going to quit marketing your service because the few people you’ve met fail to see the value?” He then said, “ When you view rejection as failure instead of an experience to learn from, you waste a valuable lesson that could help you later in life.” I then expressed that while I appreciated his words of wisdom, I still feel like I failed. With that, my father leaned forward and sternly asked, “So does this mean you’re going to quit offering your service?” When I said no, he said, “Good, because failure happens when you quit!”

“Don’t spend your day trying to pick a fight with your sister because you don’t know how much time you have left with her.”

Although not part of the planned postings for this series on “Lessons from Dad,” I felt that this next “lesson” was one that needed to be shared.

A couple of nights ago, my wife and I had dinner with my sister and her daughter and there I spoke of the “Lessons from Dad” series that I had created. I asked my niece (Kamryn) if she could recall any words of wisdom from her Tata and she said she did. Kamryn stated that she would get into spats with her cousin Kiera and as the elder of the two, Tata sat her down and said, “don’t spend your day trying to pick a fight with your sister because you don’t know how much time you have left with her.”

Kamryn said that what her Tata told her that day did not sink in until much later when she learned that Tata only had a few months to live. She then started to tear...

“The way you let others embrace your idea is to let them own it.”

Here is the 5th in the series of Lessons from Dad.

I was very fortunate to have my father that I can turn to as I was advancing in my work. And I’m sure that like me, almost everyone who advanced through positions of leadership has had some experience of struggling to create synergy and implement ideas. When I spoke of these challenges with Dad, he provided that “Synergy is created by fostering collaboration and the way you get others to embrace your idea is to let them own it.” A wise and effective lesson. 

A follow-up to this lesson was, “It shouldn’t matter who gets the credit, so long as the work gets done.”

“Don’t ever think you can hide from God.”

Lessons from Dad Part 6

One of the first lessons I received from my father is one that has guided me for a long time.

Although I can’t fully recall how the conversation came to be, I do remember that it had something to do with a childhood incident that I claimed no responsibility for (although I did do it). Although I thought I had a believable alibi, I’m sure that Dad had all the reason and evidence to know otherwise. And other than executing corporal punishment for my untruthfulness, all he said was, “Although I didn’t see what you did, don’t ever think you can hide from God.”

It’s remembering those words that continuously reminds me that everything I think, say, and do is known by a power higher than any human can be. And in the end, it is character and morals that have more meaning and significance than wins and fame. Besides that, you sleep better.

What lesson has helped shape your life?

“Don’t do the right thing for the wrong reasons.”

Lessons from Dad: Part 7

In 2006 after the final numbers for the general election were announced and I had earned a seat in the Guam Legislature, I had a conversation with my father about what I should expect and what he expected of me. He told me that with all the opportunities I will have to effectuate positive change, never do the right thing for the wrong reasons.

There are always reasons why people do things. Sometimes good, other times bad. In politics, as is the case in business, amongst friends, and with our family, there are decisions we make that either determine or contribute to determining an outcome. If a decision is based on selfish or destructive reasons and not for what is best for those who may be affected, the action may cause more harm than good.

As a Senator, I saw actions taken by a couple of my former colleagues that were clearly doing the right things for the wrong reasons. It bothered me so much that I would call them on their antics and vote against their measures, even if the legislation had the votes necessary or my vote was needed for its passage. While my stance may have costed support for my bills, I never went to bed with a guilty conscious.

When you do something for others, do it without expectation of accolades and fame. Furthermore, don’t let your actions be dictated by the number of likes or thumbs-up emojis you anticipate to receive. Finally, know that what is right is not always popular, and what is popular is not always right.

“Pray for guidance but do the work.”

Lessons from Dad: Part 8

This is one of the lessons I got from my father in my teenage years and at a time when I was struggling between aspirations and laziness.

As is normally typical with teenagers, I had great plans for my future with no real idea on how I was going to accomplish them (in other words, the realities of life hadn’t hit me yet). One day as I was emerging from a rebellious episode, my father sat me down to have conversation about where I was going with my life. It was in that discussion that I learned that everything I’ve done and everything I’ll do will result in everything I become. It was also then that Dad shared that everything I get in life is predicated on what I do with my life. Although I can’t recall his exact words, the advice my father shared then was, “You can ask for help and pray for guidance, but they’re all meaningless unless you put sweat equity into what needs to be done.”

“If you don’t say anything, don’t say anything.”

Lessons from Dad: Part 9

Person A: “I should have said something then because I knew this was going to happen. It didn’t have to be this way.”

Person B: “So, why should we listen to you now?”

Ever been part of that kind of conversation? If yes and you were Person A, it wasn’t a pleasant experience was it? 

My father once tested me by presenting a supposed concern with the instruction to resolve the matter using a particular method. Not realizing that I was being tested yet knowing that how he wanted me to resolve the issue was not going to work, I went ahead anyways figuring that instead of saying that it won’t work, I’ll show that it didn’t work. 

After a couple of hours with no resolution in sight, my father came to me and asked about my progress. When I told him that I was no where near completion, he asked why. I told him that although I knew how he wanted me to work on the task it wasn’t going to work, I decided to show him rather than initially discussing it with him for fear of rejection. My father asked in reply, “So in your not saying anything, where has it gotten you?” My answer was, “No where.”

If you’re in a conversation or discussion and there is a way you can contribute or a concern that needs to be addressed, muster the courage to bring it up and discuss it so you can avoid saying, “I should have said something then because I knew this was going to happen.”

Oh, and there’s that whole other thing about not exercising your right to vote….

In my late teens I asked my father why voting was important being that I amounted to just one vote. Dad said that decisions have been decided by one vote, but more importantly my vote represented what I believed to be the best course of action in a matter. Dad went on to say that if I don’t say (or vote for) anything and things go awry, then accept what happens because you had your opportunity to voice yourself but thought it was meaningless.

“If you don’t say anything, (then) don’t say anything.”

Part 10 of “Lessons from Dad.”

Anyone who has ever worked with my father can relate to this next lesson: “If your meeting is at 8, assume that your watch is 10 minutes late.”

My father was a stickler for punctuality. He believed that time was precious and that if you agreed to meet at a certain time, it was understood that everyone relevant to the discussion would be there as planned. I once made the mistake of being late to a meeting with him and before we started our discussion, he said, “Son, the significance of being punctual is it is the first sign of your sincerity and seriousness for what’s to be discussed. If there is no importance or urgency in the matter, then why set time aside to discuss it.” My father went on to say, “If everyone thought that being on time wasn’t important, the meeting would probably never start. Worst yet, the reason for the meeting may never be addressed.”

The 11th in the series of “Lessons from Dad”: “There is no value in a plan of action until you take action on the plan.”

When my father and I started our business many years ago, I was tasked to put together a business plan for a consulting service we were to provide. After painstakingly completing the proposal, I presented it to him and he asked when it would be implemented. When I said soon, my father replied, “Soon is not a day in the week or a month in the year and there is no value in a plan of action until you take action on the plan.”

We may plan to do things in our lives, whether it be for personal or professional purposes, but unless we do things in line with that plan, there will be nothing gained. A suggestion for the next time you produce a plan is to is include specific dates or timelines. Remember, don’t use “soon” or “tomorrow” because “soon” is not a date and tomorrow never comes.

The 12th in the series of “Lessons from Dad.”: “Before you say your work is done, make sure you have answered all your questions.”

While attending college, I took on a part-time job at a law firm that required me to assist in research. Before leaving home for the first day on the job, my father asked if I was ready to take on the work I will be tasked to perform. When I replied that I would do my best, he said, “Good, but before you say your work is done, make sure you have answered all your questions.”

I truly appreciated that word of advice because I found it useful in my work beyond my stint at the law firm. While it’s easy just to complete tasks as general as can be, you can produce a far more superior product if you anticipate the questions that may be asked and already have the answers. 

Part 13: “Lessons from Dad”

“When given the opportunity to do the right thing, don’t wait for others to start…Lead!’

Growing up, I sometimes had the best seat in the house to watch my father work. I watched as he ran board meetings, directed government operations, secured contracts, created opportunities, and granted wishes. One day in the weeks before he passed, I was having lunch with him and asked what drove him to do all the things he did. My dad responded by saying he always looked for opportunities to do the right thing for people, and if there was one but no one was doing anything about it, he took charge and ran with it. To this day I remember exactly what he said – “God purposefully puts opportunities in front of you because he knows that you can do it. When given the chance, don’t wait for others to start….Lead!”

PART 14: “Lessons from Dad”

“Our father’s selfless and simple life as a leader.”

 

I asked my siblings if they would like to contribute their memories and lessons learned from our father to add to the “Lessons from Dad” series and the following will assuredly be the first of many. The following is a lesson shared by my sister Yvie that tells of Dad’s selfless and simple life as a leader.

There are so many words, phrases, tidbits of information that my father would try to instill in my daily thoughts: “Don’t sweat the small stuff.” “Stay humble.” “Love God, love yourself, love your family.” “Just take a moment to breathe…” Regardless of the experiences I was facing, no matter what, my father always calmed me down with his non-judgmental ear, his welcoming hugs, and penchant for making me believe that it’s not as bad as I think it is.

In the early 1990s, Guam was hit with a slew of tropical depressions, typhoons, and even super typhoons. It just seemed as though as soon as we got our utilities back on, we were hit with another typhoon that wiped out the power, and sometimes water, around the island. And these outages lasted minimally for weeks, but usually for months at a time.

I remember after one such storm, Typhoon Omar, I was standing on the 2nd floor balcony of our home with my dad just looking at the view of the island. With no power, the cool breezes were the reprieve of the heat and humidity of island living. I turned to my dad and asked, “Daddy, when are you going to buy a generator for the house? The heat is unbearable!” Without so much as blinking his eyelids, my dad hugged me closer to him and whispered: “Baby, what kind of leader would I be if I lived in such luxury while my people suffered?” Even though my teenage mind wanted me to yell, “It’s not about them! We’re your family”, I kept my mouth shut for a good minute, and thought about that statement. 

That was a huge “AHA” moment for me. My dad wasn’t just a father to me and my siblings: he was a father to the island, ensuring that he took great care of the people who trusted him to take care of them. If all his people could not enjoy the simple luxuries of a working fan, or an air conditioned room, he would not either. His selflessness and simplicity in life will always be a reminder of what kind of leader, what kind of mother, what kind of person I strive to be. 

PART 15: “Lessons from Dad”

“Don’t worry about who gets the credit, just get the work done.”

My siblings and I were always fascinated at the work our parents did not just in their jobs but in their civic roles as well. One aspect that we found both fascinating and enduring was their contentment that so long as there was accomplishment, it didn’t matter who got the credit for it.

Admittedly in my early years it was difficult to understand why a person wouldn’t want recognition for the work they led to achieve or that they be given credit when credit is due. One day, I decided to sit with my father and inquire about his philosophy on the matter.

My father stated that when you take on a project and make it all about you, you may lose sight of the reason why it should be done. People are inclined to work better together when there are no ulterior motives or personal agendas that have to be dealt with. He asked how I would feel if I had to work with a team where the leader believed it was all about him and ignored my contributions. He went on to state that achievements are greater and more meaningful when there is true collaboration without the nuance of grandstanding and credit seeking. 

It was through our parents that we learned never to do the right thing for the wrong reasons and not to worry about who gets the credit, just get the work done.

Part 16: Lessons from Dad

“Your greatest failures come from not working on your faults.”

As a teenager one day, Dad asked me a question that caught me by surprise. He asked, “When you make a mistake or if you fall short in accomplishing something, what do you do about it?” I remember my answer being quick as I said, “I don’t do it again.” Then my father asked, “So if you have to deal with the same situation again, and knowing you failed the previous time, how will you handle it then?”

My father had a knack for using real-life scenarios to make his point, and in this conversation he used the game of football. “Suppose your offense was at the opponent’s one-yard line and you have four tries for a touchdown. You need four or more points to win and a field goal (three points) won’t suffice. 

On first down, you try to run it up the middle but stopped by the defense for no gain. On second and third down you again run the same play up the middle but still with no gains. What do you do now?”

“If you run a pass play or run to the outside, chances are the defense will be expecting that. And if you run it up the middle again the defense might be expecting that too. What now?”

Perplexed, I asked my dad, “What play would you run?” He replied, “Something I should have learned from the three previous plays.”

Part 17: Lessons from Dad 

“Kill’em with Kindness!”

If there was one statement that my father said a number of times, it pertained to a lesson on how to deal with irate, obnoxious, or incorrigible individuals, it was “kill’em with kindness.”

I observed my father, on a number of occasions, deal with an individual who was hot under the collar. In many of these instances the steaming individual was the taller and larger of the two, yet Dad had a way of taking on size, weight, and emotion with an ear to listen, a shoulder to lean on, and a hand to lift them back on their feet.

Dad once said, “When you get past the anger, there is a soul that’s in pain. The best way to temper the rage is to kill’em with kindness.”